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Prepare to Not Be Prepared

Had anyone ever told me I would one day be raising a little demon size version of my former self, I probably would have laughed and told you to put down the bottle. But as it is the case, I not only spawned one, but two devilishly energetic boys.

My sons are only 11 month and four days apart. What this means, in my household, is when one boy pulls out his little dongle, then the other must. When one is running around the house in their underwear, the other is chasing him with a hard plastic toy, screaming like a warrior banshee.

As a man, I never truly remember being that young. However, I can only sit back and watch, hysterically, as they find new and impressive ways to, not only discover the things they shouldn’t do, but have you screaming verbiage you never thought would leave your mouth… like ever!!!

Examples being, but not limited to: “Stop rubbing your butt on your sister’s face!!!” “Don’t grab your brothers dongle!!!” “You cannot put your finger in the dogs butt!!!” And my personal favorite, “Stop playing with poop!!!” All things I never would have thought needed to be said.

Watching boy’s and figuring out how “That recipe” eventually becomes a man, is a freaking anomaly. They have no concept of pain, fear, or worry. They will take a butt whooping just to find out if I really will put them back where they came from…. “Sorry dear.”

Having already begun my journey into parenthood with girls, and being a man who was once a boy, this should have been a piece of cake, right? Nope! Not my boy’s. Don’t get me wrong, my children, boy’s and girls, are absolutely amazing, each one with stronger personality then the next.

My youngest (aka Fat Boy, aka Chunk, which by the way he responds to with great joy), is a huge flirt. He not only makes sure to grab the females’ attention, but forces them to stay locked in on his every wink and smile. As where my oldest boy, is more content trying to figure out ways get his dirty footprints on the ceiling, or finding new places to hide your most needed possessions.

We’re only a couple years into this journey, with the boy’s, and I have no clue what to expect. I know it will be wild, adventurous, stressful, and in some moments premeditated journey. However, I know it will be our wild, adventurous, stressful journey; one I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Each day they teach me something new. They cause me to say things that no human would ever dream of saying. They keep me active, and they keep me young.

I wish I could say there is some magical recipe for raising boy’s, there just isn’t. All you can do is love them and learn, desperately learn, to keep an extremely open mind. Remember this, just when you think you got it all figured out, and have a system down, they flip the switch and you’re back to the “What the hell was I thinking?” phase of parenthood.

Enjoy it though. Enjoy every bit of it.